And yes. I’m male.
So I’m sitting at my desk chatting with a whole bunch of co-workers. I turn my chair and my coat falls on the ground.
Female Coworker: “Hey, your coat fell, you might want to pick it up.”
Me: “Oh thanks!”
So I grab my coat and pick it up and hang it on the back of my chair.
The room suddenly gets really quiet.
So I turn around, and notice everyone staring, mouth agape, at the floor under my chair.
After an awkward pause.
FC: “Uhh, is that what I think it is?”
Fuck. What did I just drop? A condom? Did I have a bottle of lube in my pocket? A vibrator? A 12 inch dildo? Shitshitshitshitshit what did I have in that coat??????
I look down…. and the blood rushes from my head.
Keeping in mind that there are now 5 of my co-workers standing around….
And there, sitting on the floor, under my chair was…..
It was very clear to the entire room that the tampon came from my coat. There was no other explanation.
Uhhhh what do I say? Err uhhh I get really bad nose bleeds a lot and so I keep it around just incase? No no no they won’t buy that. Uhhh I have a tendency to crap my pants, so when I’m really really nervous I pop it on in just incase? Yuck. No. Uhhhh shit I’m running out of time. Quick! What’s the excuse here?????
So, I did the only thing I could think of at that moment: I said oops yep, picked it up, and put it right back in my inside pocket in my jacket as if this was completely normal.
Keeping in mind that my face was 17 shades of red.
I guess I must have shoved one in my pocket for GF at some point in the past and forgotten about it. Can we all say “whooooooops” together now?
Oh well. I guess it could have always been worse.
It could have been used.
(Pause for “Ewwwwwwwwwwwwwws”)
But wait, there’s more!
In honor of TMI Thursday – I am posting a list of my favorite TMI Search terms from this past week. Keep in mind, not only were these people searching for these disgusting things…. they found MY blog using them.
TMI Thursday: Search Terms Edition
- how long it takes to poop out food
- naked hairy man on bed
- two muscular hairy guys fucking
- men with really hairy butts
- smurf asshole
- i have hair everywhere
- i have a hard time passing my poop out
- hairy balls porn
- what do genital crabs look like
- i hate pooping in public bathrooms (Amen brotha!)
- suck a christmas dick
- old farts on bicycles
- fat ball sack
- gay hairy asshole
- “i had bad gas” fart
- gravity and pooping
- how long it takes you to poop
- how long to push for pooping
- sexy bathroom poop
- toilet paper stuck in crack
- hairy muscle gay bears
- guys poop more then women
- how to get rid of little bitches
- hair continues down neck women hairy
- why does my girlfriend act like a little bitch
And my favorite for the week:
- do all dogs have hairy ass holes
So, with that, I wish you all a fabulously fantastic TMI Thursday!