Leaving London is like breaking up with a girlfriend. You spend a lot of time with your friends joking about how whacko she is, but secretly you miss some of her good qualities.
We’re leaving in just a few short hours, so here are some parting thoughts on London.
- They don’t have any trash here… just rubbish. The words work equally well, and I can’t help but snicker everytime I hear a Brit say it. There’s just something very wussy about using the word rubbish.
- When you leave, you don’t go to the “exit” – you go to the “Way Out.” Somehow this makes a lot more sense.
- The Brits like to use the word lovely a lot… just not in relation to people. The drink and food I had last night were lovely. The pub we went to was lovely. I took a lovely crap last night.
- They have public urinals ON THE STREET. Literally. I was walking through Soho at night, and I see a bunch of guys taking a piss right there in front of me…..
- Oh, and those urinals are the most foul smelling things ever
- It’s nearly impossible to get any veggies here. Apparently only poor people eat vegetables, so they aren’t offered anywhere… or if they are, they look at you oddly if you order them. So…. apparently they don’t want to seem poor.
- At the same time, it’s considered very pretentious to have braces… so if someone has them, they are probably really rich…. which is why so many brits have crazy bad teeth. What’s up with them not wanting to seem poor or rich?
- London is an American girls dream city. Lots of men who have sexy accents and dress very well.
- London is an American guys hell. Lots of women who sound like cheap hookers and dress similarly. What the hell???? GF totally agrees with me on both points.
- The Brits over-communicate about what’s going on in their subway system. You might hear something like this: “Announcement. The current status of the underground is good. All lines are running well, except for the Central line, as there is a person stuck under a rail car at the Queensbury Station.”
- Some chick grabbed my ass last night while I was standing a street corner, while next to GF. I was shocked the first time, but even MORE shocked when she did it again. I looked over and she snickered and smiled at me and said “ooops.” I think she was missing 4 teeth.
Ok. That’s enough for now. We’re off to go buy some crappy souvenirs for all of our friends!