I Get Moist in London

London is where God’s spittle lands.  Why do I say this?  Because I’m continually getting wet, no matter what I do.  I’m not a super religious kind of guy, but I’m thinking that God and Mother Nature must have an evil sense of humor when it comes to this place.  Of course, that’s what I get for booking a London vacation in November…

So, here are some highlights of our last full day in the city.

  • Our Russian Mafia hotel is still living up to the name.  We had the breakfast here for the first time this morning, and we needed a translator for our first server.  She only understood 2 words of english: Yes and No.
  • We went to St Paul’s Cathedral, which is truly one of the most beautiful cathedrals I’ve ever been in.  Breathtaking.  It also has this cool thing called the “Whispering Gallery” – which is basically a walkway up in the dome above the cathedral.  The reason they call it that, is because of the physics of the layout.  Basically, if there is anyone talking at any place in the dome, you can hear it, as if they were pretty much right next to you.  I had fun listening into a conversation of 2 people who were about 40 feet away on the other side of the dome, and didn’t quite understand the concept of what was going on.  Unfortunately they weren’t having a really juicy conversation.  When GF came over to my spot, I made sure we had an extra loud conversation about poop.
J. Salmoral

Photograph: J. Salmoral

  • I got to see the changing of the guard at Buckingham Palace.  It was all pomp and circumstance and serious and stuff.  Lots of exact marching and huffing and puffing (though sadly no wolves or houses blew down).  Well…. it was all serious and pretentious right up until the Queen’s marching band starting playing a medley of songs from Grease.  I’m not sure “Summer Nights” (which talks about how much a girl puts out) is exactly appropriate background music while the guards are changing, but that’s just me.  We left shortly thereafter, and I swear I thought I heard them start into some Coldplay….

  • I can’t seem to get any f’n tap water.  All I want is tap water.  Why is it at restaurants here I have to BEG them to bring me tap water.  I order it…. I wait.  I order it….. I wait.  It became a joke to see how many times I had to ask before I would get it.  I never took less than 3 requests to finally get it.  What up London?  Don’t be such a tap water hater!

So there are your highlights (lowlights?) for our last full day in London.  We’re coming back tomorrow night, and I’ll be sure to post some worthwhile pictures up here….

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3 responses to “I Get Moist in London

  1. what’s up with you and Arjewtino both posting with lego people on the same day?

    It’s a jew thing 😉

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