London Toilets Suck

Being in London is basically like being in the US, except that people speak funny, have weird hair styles, and somehow changed the rules of fashion to make it ok for men to wear skinny jeans.  I took some pictures, but unfortunately I forgot the cable to download pics off my camera, so something off of google images will just have to due:

London Toilets Suck

NO no no no NO! This is NOT ok.  This is NOT acceptable.  There is no reason I always have to get this good of a view of men’s packages on the street.   This is not what I want to constantly see. NO!!!

I’m sorry, I just had to vent about this.

So, I hate really long and drawn out travel blogs, and so, I’m going to give you just the highlights of things that I think you’ll find interesting.

  • It’s 12:53am right now and someone is shooting off fireworks right outside my window.  I’m not talking crappy-ass fireworks, I’m talking 4th of July quality fireworks.  Based upon what I’ve learned about the Brits lack of taste, I’m going to assume that they are celebrating my blog writing ability.
  • The hotel we are staying at is run by the Russian Mafia.  I can’t confirm this, other than everyone else staying/working here is Russian, and they look at us really funny.
  • I’ve seen a 1-legged pigeon.  This was a big deal on some other DC blogs a while back, and I just want to get the word out.  Perhaps its a genetic thing, or perhaps the DC pigeons went on vacation.  If I had 1 leg and was constantly begging for food, I’d probably want a vacation too.
  • We had food at a very neighborhoody British Pub for lunch.  When we walked in, it was like Cheers.  Everyone turned around and looked at us… but instead of saying “Noooooorm!” it was more “Who the fuck are you?” haha
  • So, tipping over here is sort of weird.  For food, tipping isn’t necessarily expected, but when I paid for dinner, an “Optional Service Charge” was added to the tab.  Except it was never an option – they just added it on. 
  • I had a beer called Verboden Vrucht.  It’s Belgian.  It also has 8.8% alcohol.  I was feeling gooooooooooood after drinking it.
  • I ate a great cupcake place called Hummingbird Cupcakes.  I had one that had vanilla creamcheese icing on it, and a dark chocolate bottom that had little bits of dark chocolate spread throughout it.  Holy shit it was good.  Best cupcake I’ve had in a long while.
  • I also learned, if you are a single guy in London – GO TO HUMMINGBIRD CUPCAKES!  I walked in with GF, and the whole place was filled with attractive women.  I’d say 25 women, and 2 guys (including myself).
  • I cannot flush any of the fricken toilets in this country.  I swear, in every public bathroom, I try like 5 times to flush the toilets and they never do.  Either I have bad luck and keep picking broken toilets, or I’m a moron.  I’m leaning toward the moron side of things.
  • Speaking of toilets, today I walked into another public bathroom at a hotel, and the urinal setup was unlike anything I have seen before.  There was a step right before where the urinals are.  The thing is, there was no one else in the bathroom, so I wasn’t sure if you stand on the step, or it’s a separator and you stand behind it.  I didn’t want to make a fool of myself, so I just went to the closest stall (and of course, couldn’t get the dang toilet to flush! ARGH!)
  • More speaking of toilets – the bathroom in our hotel room is freakin TINY.  So tiny, that in order to sit on the toilet, you have to turn sideways just to get by the toilet paper dispenser… I now know what a sardine must feel like when it’s pooping.

Ok, it’s 1am now and I’m getting up early to go on a walking tour of all the foodie areas of London.


5 responses to “London Toilets Suck

  1. you better hope no american teenage boys are reading your blog, ’cause i think the skinny jeans are in – or at least i saw that in a jonas bros video.

    glad ur havin’ fun!

  2. i hear ya on the fireworks… in the last four cities… every f’ing night fireworks have exploded. I don’t get it.

  3. God, you’re making me miss London so much! Sardine pooping and all…

  4. Hummingbird cupcakes? Sounds chewy. Mmmm.

    I went back again and got more. So good.

  5. Jessicarothbard

    Uh, he’s fuckin’ hot. I donno whatchou been smokin’, guuurl.

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