I give good date.
Call me arrogant, call me conceited, call me Slappy the Half-Brained Clown.
I call it confidence. I’ve never been turned down for a 2nd date, and in general I’ve never had trouble meeting women who were interested in dating me.
Wanna know why?
It has nothing to do with having game, being stunningly good looking, or having a huge reproductive organ. (I’m not confirming or denying the existence of any of those things!)
There are 2 reasons for this:
- I am extremely picky with the women I go out with
- I pay attention
It’s really just that simple.
But ToBlogOr – if it was really that simple, why doesn’t everyone do it?
Good question. You wanna know why? Because we’re too self absorbed.
I’m a recovering only child, but a long time ago I started to understand the power of paying attention. Remembering little things started to get me places. It helped me succeed in my career. I had problems dating though. The moment I started applying the same principles to dating, all of a sudden I was an extremely caring guy that all the women wanted.
My plan for today was to provide a list of the 12 Guaranteed Rules to Great Dating – but you know what? There are really a lot more than 12, and they are really more like guidelines. The majority of these apply to both men and women equally, and I’ll include a couple of extra at the end for men and women
So let’s go!
The 12+ Guaranteed Rules of a Great Date
Don’t be a bore, make your date soar!
The more interactive your date is, the better. Something that involves laughter is always important. Guys – chicks dig guys that make them laugh. If you aren’t funny, do something that involves laughter. Suck up your pride and try something you haven’t done before, it’s ok to laugh at yourself. I went on an ice skating date once and fell on my ass so many times that I think it’s now permanently flat. You know what though? The girl thought it was really endearing. We couldn’t stop laughing.
Don’t be a pretentious prick
Dating is not about being impressive. Dating is about being YOU. Have enough confidence in yourself to BE yourself. If you are having some self confidence issues, then just be glad you aren’t this guy:
Dress to impress
When I said to not be pretentious, I didn’t mean don’t look good. I’m a big fan of over-dressing slightly. No full tuxedo for a fast-food run. If you aren’t sure if you should wear jeans or slacks — go with slacks. If you aren’t sure if slacks or a suit. Go with a suit. My one corollary: If you aren’t sure if you should go with tighty whities or commando — definitely go commando.
Pretend you are Obama
Now, with your huge pretend ears…. LISTEN TO YOUR GODDAMN DATE! Don’t just hear him/her talk – ask questions. Engaging questions. Open ended questions. If you don’t care what they have to say…. PRETEND.
Dating Hint: After your date, write down some of the things you talked about and review them before you talk to your date the next time. As an example, take a note about their brother’s impending graduation…. and then ask them about it next time. I couldn’t give a rat’s ass if you care about their brother, but it shows that you listened! Trust me, this one never fails.
Everyone hates a mime
I hate it when my date only gives me 1 or 2 word answers to my questions. It makes it sound like they either 1: don’t like me or 2: are stupid. You goal is to be talking 45% of the date. You want your date to be talking just a bit more than you, and if things start to get off kilter, right the ship!
Buy a fricken watch
Be on time, wouldja? If you aren’t going to be on time, let your date know. Ok? I HATE waiting for people, because I hate being late. I like to plan. I know that not everyone is like that, but how well do you really know your date? Not very – so do us a favor, and be on time. It shows us that you care.
Surprise surprise surprise!
Ok so I already talked about listening and taking notes – here’s another way to put it to use. One of my signature moves is to bring a surprise on a 2nd or 3rd date. Nothing expensive, just a little small thoughtful gesture. Women almost always appreciate flowers, but I like to take it a step further. Before our first date, GF and I had a conversation where she told me about how she loved the song Sexy Back, but didn’t have the CD. I hadn’t even heard the song, but I went out to a store, bought the CD, and then surprised her with it on our way to dinner. Trust me, this stuff works.
Don’t do the friend pat
Touch a woman like she’s a woman, not your buddy. Don’t pat them on the back or shoulder like a friend would do. This is called the “friend pat.” This is highly offensive to women, so don’t do it. There are a good number of good ways to do it. Women? Touching a man is always sexy, just understand that if you start touching us a lot, we think we’re gonna get some.
Dating Tip: Men – if you aren’t sure what to do at the end of the night, give her a kiss on the cheek. You can’t go wrong with this, women think it’s cute…. just make sure you aim appropriately. If you give her an obvious sign that you are going in for just the cheek, she won’t flinch. If she wants more, she’ll turn her head.
Thank you Jesus!
If someone took you on a great date – is it too much ask you to write a quick thank you note? In fact, even if you TOOK someone on a great date, it’s ok to send them a thank you note too! People love appreciation.
Hey, nice ass!
People love to be complimented, women especially. If you think they look nice, tell them… and be specific. Just remember, that you need to compliment them not the item of clothing. I’ll give you a couple examples:
Bad: Wow, that’s a great dress!
Good: Wow, you look great in that dress!
Bad: I really love your earrings.
Worse: Those earrings really go great with your dress! (No straight man says something like that)
Good: Wow, you look great – I love your earrings!
Bad: Those jeans make your ass look great.
Good: You have a great ass.
Clean your car, get gas, etc
Dates should never include chores. Chores are what you do in your free time. Be prepared: if you are driving, clean your car out ahead of time, get gas, and know exactly where you are going. Women: the last thing I want to do when I’m on a date is go to CVS with her to buy tampons. So do yourself a favor, and plan ahead.
Don’t play the 1 up game
This is a game only assholes play. Be impressed with your date, they like to feel like they are number 1. All 1 upping does is makes them feel like they aren’t good enough. If you make it farther than this date, you’ll have time to tell your story eventually. In the meantime, be more into them than into yourself.
Don’t be a douchebag
Sarcasm sucks. Period. Keep it out of your first dates. No one wins when you are sarcastic. It’s offensive, it isn’t funny, it doesn’t belong in dating. You don’t know them that well, they don’t know you that well…. and trust me, it won’t get you anywhere. Just don’t be a douche bag ok?
Ok, so I’ve now provided you with all the rules that guarantee you will have a great date (assuming your date isn’t like the guy above).
Post Date Tip
Your date is not Ellis Island
Don’t be needy and desperate. You are dating, you aren’t married. Be cool. Be relaxed. If you seem desperate and needy, people won’t like dating you. This means sucking it up and not over-communicating. If you haven’t gotten a response back from your text earlier… Suck it up. Your date has a life of their own. If you haven’t heard back, wait at least 24 hours and then follow up. If you still don’t get a response, you are only allocated 1 last call…. so use it wisely. Anything more than that is an annoyance. If they like you, they’ll get back to you eventually…. if not? No loss – move on!
Are we done yet?
No! Because we have to cover both sides of the issue.
How to get out of a bad date
If you are on a bad date, and want to know how to get out – go here. The website also includes helpful tips for situations such as: “How to Survive If You Wake Up Next to Someone Whose Name You Don’t Remember” and “How to Determine If Your Date Is an Axe Murderer”
I’ll be reporting live from London tomorrow – so stay tuned for some Greenwich Mean Time Dating Tips!