Randomly Rambunctious Remarks

Some people found my blog by searching for “sex boys and man,” “50lbs overweight,” and “Tighty whitie dude.”  What does this say about my readers (or my writing for that matter!)?

Whenever I eat a nice salad and some fruit for lunch, I’m still hungry.  I’ve come to the conclusion that I’ll never feel full unless a slab of cow and a cookie are somehow integrated into my meal.

Dasani is “Purified water enhanced with minerals for a pure, fresh taste.”  So they are unpurifying the water to make it taste more pure?

I use a Swingline stapler everyday.  I wish it was red.

 

I hate it when the car in front of me leaves their blinker on.  It makes me want run them off the road, NASCAR style.

I was once told by a Rabbi that Jews are not prudes.  I think this needs to be better communicated to the Jewish women of the world.

I’ve been pulled over for speeding by a bicycle cop.  He had a siren and lights and everything.  Ironic thing?  I was on travel presenting at a big meeting for public safety officials.

 Randomly Rambunctious Remarks

I often wonder if I farted on a skunk, would it smell better? 

I’ve always hated September – because that’s when you go back to school.  I haven’t been in school in more than a decade, yet I still hate September.

My work colleague has a hand drawn picture above his desk that says “I love you Dad, Plese take it to work!”  He doesn’t have any kids.

 

I like drinking hot tea, hot soup, hot chocolate, etc but I can’t brush my teeth with either hot or warm water.  It’s disgusting.

When I’m walking up to an elevator, I secretly race anyone nearby so I can be the first to push the up/down arrow.

Whenever someone talks about “Change Management” for some reason a picture of a zoo-keeper pops into my head.

Randomly Rambunctious Remarks

I like making completely random analogies to help explain things.  The more obscure, the better. 

My life is sort of like a feather duster.  I own it, I know I can put it to good use, but I’m too lazy to.  So instead I hire someone else to clean up my dust and mess.

Scenario: 2 guys at work are in the bathroom, both in stalls.  They both flush at exactly the same time.  Invariably, one guy will pause in his stall and let the other wash his hands and leave, in order to avoid having an “embarassing” meeting of the crappers at the sink.

And those are your Randomly Rambunctious Remarks worth blogging about…… or not.

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A quick thank you to NBC Washington for featuring my post on The 12 Best Places to Make Out in DC on their website yesterday!

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11 responses to “Randomly Rambunctious Remarks

  1. “My work colleague has a hand drawn picture above his desk that says “I love you Dad, Plese take it to work!” He doesn’t have any kids.”

    I want to know this man. Make it happen.

    It is done. Check your email. Please report details back on your blog 😉

  2. you know that there’s a part of your stomach that can only be filled with dessert, right? So if you don’t finish your meal, you can still have that cookie, cake, or whatever yummy sweets are there. at least, that’s what I always told my parents.

    i’m surprised no baseball today.

    Very true – I like to call it my “dessert stomach” – and I posted about baseball last night 😉 it’s just a bit hidden…… keep checking! 😉

  3. We must be on the same page today with the Random Thoughts. We’re like Jack Handey, but not as smart.

    PS: Brushing your teeth with hot water is disgusting and completely understandable.

    Thursdays are meant for randomness. I think I might take part in your TMI Thursdays theme 😉 Oh, and screw Jack Handey, he’s got nothing on us. He just has a bigger production budget

  4. Holy Big Time–NBC. Look at you. Kudos.

    People consistently come to my site after searching “blow off stripper’s ass”.

    Ooops, that might have been me.

  5. TMI Thursdays are going to be awesome. The blogosphere should be afraid, very afraid, as we all try to top one another. (That’s what she said…)

    I love you. Let’s ditch our significant others and elope to Iceland – where everyone openly shares TMI stories about poop and boogers.

  6. How did this conversation with your rabbi even begin?

    You know what? Nevermind, context is overrated.

    Context is definitely overrated. The funny thing is, if you think about it, pretty much the only flavor of religious figure who could get away with saying something like this, is a Rabbi.

  7. you are funny

    Like a clown?

  8. I’ve seen a lot of cops on bikes, but I’ve never known them to have a siren. Alexandria must not have caught up with the times yet!

    Thank god. I don’t think I could handle being pulled over by a cop in spandex again

  9. I just ate Cheetos for a snack. Sorry, just figured my comment should be random, in keeping with the theme.

    Nice. I heard that Harris Teeter is offering cheese-its, wheat thins, and triskets buy 1 get 1 free right now.

  10. Deal. We can have flicking wars.

    Stop teasing me like that! And besides, you really don’t want to do that, I’m a champion flicker

  11. It is wonderful to see the pictures,thanks for sharing

    Glad you enjoyed! Thanks for reading 🙂

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