I’m as much of a make-out slut as the next guy.
Last week I was talking to a couple of friends and we were discussing making-out, and the subject of the best places to make out came up. I decided it was high time that someone with some experience in this area spoke up. To that end, I’ve created my personal list of the best places to make out in this fine city. Now, this list doesn’t necessarily mean the most FUN places to make-out (those could include: the elevator at work, conference rooms, dance floors in clubs, etc etc). No, those are too easy. This list is for those romance snobs out there who also like to have a little bit of fun.
February is supposed to be a romantic month because of the whole Valentine’s Day thing. I call bullshit on that. Welcome to a Hallmark Holiday! No, I believe October is one of the most romantic months here in DC – the leaves finally coming down, the weather turning brisk, and Politicians gouging out each others eyes. Nothing is more romantic than watching a political bloodbath, now is there?
So, without further ado, here is my list of:
The 12 Best Places to Make Out in DC
You’re a tourist? I’m a tourist! Let’s make out!
Union Station – Met some hottie on the train? 10 steps into the gorgeous building and they’ll be begging you to shove your tongue down their throat. Already have a gf/bf and have an urge to get-it-on in public? It’s the only place in DC where you can basically dry hump, and everyone thinks it’s cute.
Newseum Observation Deck – Top floor overlooking the Capitol Building. It’s a great view, and since no one really knows the Newseum exists, you’ll have it all to yourself. Extra points if you ask the security guard up there to join in.
Haupt Garden – So you are walking around the Sackler, and you meet some hot little number who is ALSO a connoisseur of The Royal Paintings of Jodhpur. You want to make out, but you don’t know where? Well there’s a great a little garden right outside. It’s pretty any time of year and has tons of little nooks and crannies to swap some saliva.
Need a quick snog with a co-worker? Go here!
Secret Victorian Park behind the Brewmaster’s Castle – It’s only open during the day from late spring until early fall. So, if you and the hot new intern are tired of leaving butt prints on conference room tables, impress her with your DC knowledge by bringing her to this little park on Sunderland between 19th and New Hampshire Ave. It’s pretty, it’s secluded, it has park benches that can’t be seen from the street, and no one knows its there. Perfect recipe for some office naughtiness!
Gem Room – Smithsonian Natural History Museum – What’s more romantic than being ensconced by priceless gems in a dark room? This place is the perfect spot for a secret tryst. Problem: Tourists flock here like DC meter maids on my car. Solution: Go here during the week when tourists aren’t around! No one will recognize you, and you can find a nice dark corner to get some action.
Secluded bench around the Tidal Basin – It’s beautiful all year round – has a ton of benches, and other than during the cherry blossom festival, no one walks around here during the day. Bored government contractor? It’s just a moment from your office – so grab a friend and get your osculation on!
The Insider’s Guide…..
Bishop’s Garden – It’s quiet, secluded, and filled with crosses. So what’s that mean? It’s right behind the National Cathedral! So, if you are a heretic (like me!) or if men in robes and crosses get you all heated up – come here for a fun time! Oh, and it’s also open 24 hours – so you can get it on AND go to confessional, all in 1 quick trip!
Tutor Place – Pop your collar and go check out gardens at this public mansion in Georgetown for some preppy fun. It’ll cost you $2 a person for a “self-guided tour” of all the little benches and fountains in the garden. No one knows it exists, so that means its “exclusive.”
Cairo Roof Deck – Come visit this historic landmark on Q between 16th and 17th for the best unobstructed 360 degree views of DC. Can’t get in because of the “security?” Just knock on the window at the front door, and pretend you are going to visit your “best buddy” in apartment 1008. Take the elevator to the top floor, turn right, and take the stairwell up to the roof deck.
Take your date here, and you are guaranteed to get laid.
Balcony at the Uptown Theater – Feeling nostalgic? Flash back to your high school days of being naughty at the movies by taking your significant fuck-buddy to this DC institution and rock out with your cock out in the balcony section.
FDR Memorial – This is one of my favorite places in all of DC. The Tidal Basin, waterfalls, great lighting, and romantic quotes about World War II. It might be cliché – but who the fuck cares? Come for a quiet stroll and share a romantic kiss. Extra points if you go skinny dipping in the waterfalls!
Kennedy Center Roof Deck at Sunset – Have a touch of class in you? Check out the beautiful views of the Potomac, Georgetown, and the Rosslyn skyline before you go to see a show. Extra points if you eat at the restaurant and sneak a couple of glasses of wine out to sip on. Careful though, it gets a bit windy/chilly up here – so hold your date close.
Honorable mentions: At the top of Meridian Park overlooking the waterfall fountain, along the Canal in Georgetown, on the Key Bridge at sunrise/sunset, and at sunrise at the Potomac Scenic Overlook off the GW parkway North.
Coming tomorrow: The 12 WORST Places to Make Out in DC
New to my blog? Here’s a fun read: Tango Lessons: A Man Review