Orgasms and Arrests

Take 2 tablespoons of sex and mix with a big heaping cup of police activity, and you know what you get?  My evening yesterday!

So, I was on my couch watching the Phillies game last night when GF decided to come over after a happy hour. It was about the 3rd or 4th inning and the game was pretty slow.

Watching baseball on TV is definitely not one of GF’s favorite pastimes.  As she might have been a bit bored and feeling a little frisky after an unconfirmed number of alcoholic beverages at happy hour, she kept herself interested by trying her best to “distract” me.

One thing led to another, the TV was shut off, and we engaged in uhhh… errr… a competitive game of Scrabble. Yeah, that’s it!

Back and forth we go, consonants and vowels flying all over the place. 

Then out of the blue, right outside my window we hear:

“PUT YOUR HANDS UP! GET ON THE GROUND! NOW! MOVE MOVE MOVE!!!”

I live in the Adams Morgan area, and if you haven’t heard – there’s been a pretty hefty increase in the crime in our area recently.

So, when we hear all this screaming and banging, we’re not sure if someone is getting mugged, or someone is getting arrested. GF and I look at each other.  We’re conflicted.

What do we do? Look out the window and make sure everyone is safe or finish? The game was close.  We had put so much effort in….. So, we did what any other good DC residents would do in this situation:

We said, fuck it – robbery be damned, we’re finishing!

I wasn’t an english major, but when it comes to Scrabble I am definitely cunning with my linguistic skills.

Faster and faster we made our moves…

Double word score! 

Triple letter score! 

Points pile up faster than we can keep score. 

The intensity of the game matched only by the sirens, yelling, and intense police activity right outside my window.

I pull the last tile out of the bag….. a G!  Only 2 points?  Damnit….. this is going to be close.

Folks, here’s the thing about Scrabble.  A true master knows that winning isn’t about the tiles you pull… it’s how you play them.

I had her right where I wanted her.  Down 23 points with only my turn left to play.

My move was as quick as it was stunning.  I play the G.

BAM!

TRIPLE WORD SCORE.  Take that!  24 points!  I win!

GF screams.

Perhaps it was in disbelief.  Perhaps it was the shock.  Perhaps it was just a release from the intesity of the game.

Either way, I did what any other self-serving boyfriend would do in that situation.

I covered her mouth.

The last thing we needed was someone else getting arrested.

 

Orgasms and Arrests

Advertisements

9 responses to “Orgasms and Arrests

  1. I didn’t know you were a “scrabble and tell” kind of fella!

    haha yeah, what can I say. I’m a bad person, but don’t worry – I keep my monopoly life to myself.

  2. What was the word? That is all I care about…screw those suckers getting robbed. They should be home playing scrabble.

    haha Well, its a 5 letter “word” starting with G that would score 24 points on a triple word score…. c’mon, I know you can figure it out!

  3. *sigh* I wish Bryan and I were playing Scrabble right now!

    Brillant blog writing abilities btw.. Did you find out what was going on after the fiasco?

    Thanks! Good question. I have no idea… apparently they just arrested some dude. I’ll ask the front desk lady today and hopefully she’ll have the scoop!

  4. Damn you have skills about writing sex like that, so impressed.

    Oh dear, I need to inform you about so many things in Adams Morgan, you live in the mist of a solid gang war.

    Sex? What sex? hehe I’m glad you liked it. I’d like to think I’m better in action than in writing though 😉 And yes – definitely gang wars. I try not to wear either red or blue around too much 😉

  5. 18th versus MS

    I can email you the scoop and what you need to look for — just be careful they love knives

    Yes please!

  6. Gonad? Gorge? I’m at a loss.

    Let’s play hangman. I’ll give you a hint.

    G-_ _ _ _

  7. lol I have solved the puzzle but its for freckledk
    so I will not play along

    haha. All the pervs in the house say Hey-oh!

  8. OK, are y’all being humorously obtuse, or am I just a total pervo? Because I got it right away.

    Quoting my response to Zippy…. all the pervs in the house say Hey-o! haha I thought I was pretty obvious, but I guess not!

  9. soooo…how long do you have to date someone before you can challenge them to a “game of scrabble”???
    just curious..
    xoxo

    Oooh good question. hmmm I’m not really sure there’s a defined time frame, but to answer your question I’m gonna say more than 5 minutes, less than 2 weeks.

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s