The Parking Spot Game

So, you might not know this, but DC has a parking problem.

It might not be like NYC, but it’s still pretty bad. I live in-between Adams Morgan and Dupont, and most night of the week there is nary a parking spot to be found between the hours of 7pm and midnight. In order to find one, I usually have to drive around and around the same circle of streets and hope I get lucky that someone is pulling out just when I happen to be driving by for the 23 millionth time.

The thing I hate about this, though, is when there is another car directly in front of you, who is also looking for a spot. It’s like waiting in line for a ride at an amusement park, but just a lot more frustrating. Usually, they are from some Virginia suburb, and this is their first trip in to DC, which probably goes something like this:

“Like, hey, let’s go to DC and party”

“Totally! Shouldn’t we take the metro?”

“No way, it closes to early. It’s more fun to drink and drive!”

So, anyway, these pesky suburbanite kiddies drive their 1995 honda civics really slowly, pretty much stopping at every gap in between cars, not realizing until the very last moment that they’re either a fire hydrant or a driveway/alley. This of course, causes me major frustration.

You see, I like to whip around my same circle of streets pretty quickly, because the more times I pass through, the higher my chances of passing just when someone is getting in my car (we’ll just ignore the fact that I intermittently have to slam on my brakes, nearly causing a massive pileup behind me, when I see a pedestrian even glancing toward a vehicle that most likely isn’t even be theirs. Listen, this is my rant about OTHER people, and we will refrain from ripping on my own moronic tendencies. Deal? Thanks.)

So anyway, how do I deal with this? I pretend that I’m not looking for a spot, and that I’m just in a hurry, and I tailgate the car in front of me reaaaalllllly closely. This generally freaks out the Virginia suburb pansy driver, and they speed up. This gives me an advantage. Why? Because I can look right down a street and see where any spots might be, and where the faker gaps are. Then, as we approach any possible spot – they’re just too scared that I’m gonna bang into them to slow down…… and ta-da! I have a parking spot. Welcome to the parking spot game.


5 responses to “The Parking Spot Game

  1. Wack's doodle do

    hehe. This is funny. I can just see your method working with that VAians

    They are a jumpy bunch, those VAians. Thankfully we don’t live near Jersey, or else they might just shoot me.

  2. you have your own parking spot, what are you doing jockeying with the VA drivers? and don’t forget, you used to be one of us!

    Shhh! I have my own spot, but I’m not always just parking up here! And no, I was never one of you Virginians. Never! (ok, maybe once, but it was a dark time in my life…. haha)

  3. I, more than once, begged an ex of mine to just abandon his car as we looked for a spot. Let the gypsies take it! I hated searching for a spot.

    I can’t tell you how many things in life I’ve missed because I was spending time looking for a spot. If only there were gypsies in DC AND they were into valet parking 😉

  4. I like the picture you included with this post 🙂

    It’s a pretty good imitation of me, eh? 😉

  5. Haha! My friends all claim I have good parking karma cause I always managed to find a space right in front of where we’re going, but it’s more my strategy. I call it the “feathering out rule.” First, I’ve noticed people always assume there won’t be parking at the front door so they start out 6 blocks away. Not me. I go TO my destination and I start feathering out from there. Someone is almost always leaving and I grab their spot. Ten minutes later when my friends get there after walking six blocks, I’m at the bar with a drink and appetizer already.

    Damn you! Stop publicizing this strategy! I use it too, and it’s always fantastic. People like to hit an area and do 1st available… screw that! I do first available once I hit the destination…. why park far away when you don’t have to?

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