Sarah Palin and Bowel Movements

I knew it was going to be an interesting business meeting, I just didn’t think it would be THIS interesting.

For the past 5 months or so I’ve been talking with a couple of people about the possibility of doing business together. How business is conducted inside versus outside the Beltway is decidedly different. If they were from DC, I’m sure we would have met up in our finely tailored suits someplace clichéd like The Palm. These people are from Alaska. Soooooooooo instead, we met at the always classy Ballston Holiday Inn. They had just returned from the mall, dressed in jeans and flip flops, marveling at how warm the weather is here in DC. (This was especially ironic because, as I was walking from the parking lot, I saw some guy fully decked out in his north face winter jacket, gloves, and hood at full mast. Helloooo? It’s still 60 degrees out….) So anyway, after a drink at the bar, we proceeded to Rio Grande for Tex-Mex goodness and hopefully some productive business talk.

Bueller? Buuuuuuuueeeeelllllllller?

Yeah, right. 3 hours later – I think we might have talked business for a total of 10 minutes.

Some topics covered over dinner and drinks included:

  • Sarah Palin’s boobs
  • Bowel movements
  • 70’s drug use
  • 90’s drug use
  • (I guess the 80’s were boring for them….)
  • The size of Obama’s ears

Before I go on, I have to provide for you a video of Sarah Palin in the swimsuit competition during the Miss Alaska competition.

I would have added the talent portion of the competition, but it was really too much to take. Anyway, the point I’m trying to make here is that, we spent at least 20 minutes talking about this video. Well, really more of them talking at me, as I hadn’t seen it before. Apparently this is a big deal in Alaska.

The ironic part of this conversation is that we went directly from talking about Sarah Palin, to how Starbuck’s Apple Cinnamon Muffin’s gave one of my possible-future-colleagues the runs. I believe the quote was “Well, why’dya think I was squirming in my seat at about 3? I ate 2 this morning!”

So as not to make this post completely negative, I will mention something positive about Sarah Palin. Her and I agree on a major philosophical point.

I have a theory about auditions: go directly after the person who is the most awful performer in the room. This makes you look better than you are, and gives you a distinct advantage over everyone else.

Sarah Palin is a believer in this same philosophy.

You see, Governor Palin is following the venerable Governor Frank Murkowski. Governor Murkowski had the enviable position of being the MOST unpopular Governor in the entire country, with a whopping approval rating of 14%.

When asked about how, despite some of her obvious deficiencies, Gov Palin could have such a high approval rating, my friends from Alaska said this:

“Mukowski was SO bad, even a bowel movement would have an 80% approval rating now.”

And that is something worth blogging about…… or not.

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One response to “Sarah Palin and Bowel Movements

  1. Genius. Pure genius. And diarrhea. Props.

    I don’t know if I’m ever going to be able to top this post, without having to start making stuff up.

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