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Entries tagged as ‘Restaurant Review’

Get a Good Servicing

December 8, 2008 · 12 Comments

WARNING! WARNING! This post is not funny.  Today I will be talking about a fantastic restaurant in the DC area.  Therefore, I will not be making any vile references to poop, boogers, pee-pee, up-chuck, egregious body hair, road kill, necrophiliac and/or smurf porn, blood, spluge, pus, mucus, or Kevin Federline

 Get a Good Servicing

If you are visiting my blog for the first time and are  interested in that sick and disgusting kind of stuff.  Welcome!  Today, we’re taking a brief break from our normal discussion matter, but feel free to proceed here here here and here for some deliciously disgusting times.  If you are seriously sick and demented, please proceed here.

Now that I’ve cleared that all up, on to the good stuff.

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I am a serious believer in service.  Good service.  If I am your customer, then I demand that you service me well.  If you do not service me well, I will be quite upset.  Why?  Because if I’m shelling out some serious cash, I expect to be well serviced. 

I cannot tell you how many times I’ve been disappointed by sub-standard service.  It just leaves me feeling completely unsatisfied.

I thought there were schools that taught people this kind of thing, but apparently not.  Perhaps it’s just bad management.  You would think that these people would be well trained by their managers.  It really hurts the brand when customers leave unsatisfied, so you would think that management would do anything in their power to help please you.  I mean, at least lend a hand to their less experienced staff because everyone loves a threesome.  But no, most times they are just ambivalent.  Once you’ve given them your money, it’s almost like they feel like you owe them now. 

I hate feeling like I’ve been left high and dry.  So provide bad service?  I promise I won’t be back.

This will never be the case at Café Renaissance.

Never heard of it?  I’m not surprised.

I was introduced to Café Renaissance about 10 years ago by one of my old bosses.  If he hadn’t pointed it out to me, I wouldn’t have ever known it was there, as it’s possibly the most unpretentious romantic restaurant in the history of all restaurants everywhere.

Why?  Because from the outside a Bob’s Big Boy looks classier.

The problem is that it’s located in Vienna Virginia, not Vienna Austria.  While Vienna has been listed as high as #4 in Money Magazine’s Best Places to Live, it still has the whole “Virginia” thing working against it.  I believe there are specific laws in Vienna that say that buildings must blend in with their surroundings, and being that Café Renaissance is in a non-descript strip mall in between a paint store and an Outback Steak House – it looks a bit like an asian massage parlor might lack a tad bit of charm. 

So why, on a very special night, would I subject GF to a drive outside the beltway to grab some grub at a strip mall?

Because it’s one of my absolute most favoritest restaurants ever in the history of everhoodity.

The moment you walk in to the place, you are transported across the pond.

At Café Renaissance, they play it old school Europe. 

The room is magnificent – in an old European Flair kind of way.

Get a Good Servicing

The food, while not spectacular, is still very good.

But it’s the service that makes this place so outstanding.

At Café Renaissance they will do whatever it takes to keep you happy including swallowing, cupping your balls, and sticking fingers in the no-no place.   

It starts right when you walk in and are welcomed with open arms.  When I walked in with GF, they knew exactly who were were, and I was even greeted by name, “Mr BlogOr, welcome! We have your table waiting for you.  Can I take your coats?”

It’s always a nice touch to have the wait staff call you by name throughout the evening at a restaurant.  I dunno what it is, but it makes it feel that much classier.

When we sit down, GF and I order a couple of glasses of wine and chat…..and chat……. and chat.  No menu’s are presented.  No one interrupts us.

The moment we started getting bored of each other our conversation started to die down a little bit, menu’s were immediately presented without us even realizing that they were keeping a close eye on our table. 

In fact, not a moment went by the entire night where we needed to find a waiter to ask a question.  They were just always there at the right time.  I didn’t need to use the bathroom while I was there, but I’m sure they would have offered to shake it for me if they thought I needed help.

The menu is sort of a combination of fine italian and french food.  Each night they also offer a whole huge list of specials in addition to the menu.

But that’s not the end of it.  If you don’t see something you’re in the mood for, they’ll make you pretty much anything you want. 

We talked it through with our waiter, and GF and I both ended up ordering things that were not listed on the menu.  They put together an appetizer for us that included gnocchi with a cream sauce, along with an oyster on the half shell with some sort of tomato-y cream sauce on top of it.  The gnocchi were perfect, and the sauce had just the right amount of richness.  The oyster was a perfect compliment, and while I have no idea what the sauce was with it, I can definitely say it was great.  I might have licked the plate clean.

For our main course we had the Chateaubriand for 2Not only was the steak not on the menu, it wasn’t on the list of specials either!  The waiter just listened to what we were thinking, and made the recommendation.  I prefer my meat cooked medium-rare.  When the meal was delivered, I thought it was perfect, but GF claims that her meat was still mooing.  So I just ate whatever she didn’t want to finish.

Did I mention that the presentation of all the food was fabulous?  In fact, everything about their service was about fantastic presentation.

Guys.  Listen up.  You will LOVE this place.  Why?

Because when I say they are all about “presentation” that translates to “they love setting shit on fire.”

Intentionally.

Awesome!!!!

I swear half their desserts involve some sort of pyrotechnic exhibition.  For a brief moment I thought I was at a Brittney Spears concert when they were serving the “Banana Foster for 2″ to the next table over.

Since it was a “special night,” they offered us a Brittney Spears Special on the house, since we had asked about it earlier in the night. 

I love the fact that they offered it to us first, instead of just bringing it out.  This is magnificent service.

Why?  Because good service isn’t about surprise.  It’s all about the customer.  Before they brought it out, they wanted to first make sure that this dessert would be to our liking.  Neither of us really like banana, so we really appreciated them asking us first.  At a normal restaurant,  they would have just assumed we would have enjoyed it and not given it an extra thought.

It’s going the extra mile that always counts the most, and they were very generous and instead pulled together a nice little sampler of their other tasty desserts.  

(neither GF or I drink coffee, but if you do, I would highly recommend ending your evening with the “Flaming Café Renaissance”)

AND THEN? (There’s more?)  They brought us each a nice glass of port, again on the house, to end off our meal properly.

Considering the high level of service we received, and our custom orders, how much do you think we paid?  $150? $200?  More?

Nope.

That’s the best part about all of this.  Our tab only came to $100 (before tip). 

It’s the best deal in the DC area.

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Looking for a fun evening with a date?   Start with dinner at Café Renaissance and finish off the night with some great live music at Jammin’ Java, just a few short blocks away.

Do this, and I guarantee the staff at Café Renaissance won’t be the only ones providing a good servicing.

Categories: Food · Restaurant Review
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Slip Me the Sausage

November 2, 2008 · 5 Comments

No, this is not a post where I decide to come out of the closet. Sorry guys, I love boobs just a bit too much. Instead, it’s a restaurant review of my favorite little german food stand in Leesburg – Hamburg Döner (HD)!

This is not your usual restaurant either – it is housed in the Mighty Midget Kitchen!

Slip Me the Sausage

The Midget used to be a pretty good BBQ place up until recently, when HD took over the little 6 by 9 foot piece of aluminum that used to be a part of a WWII era bomber. I think it has or had some sort of record about being the smallest restaurant in the world, but I’m too lazy to look that stat up. Either way, it’s pretty fricken small.

Anyway, back to the review. So, what’s better that getting some good german sausage at 11:45am on the first day back on standard time? Getting BEER with the sausage, of course! (c’mon, that was an easy question. I shouldn’t have to answer these for you….) That’s one of the great things about HD – they have a good number of german beers on tap, along with a whole shit-load in bottles.

Being that the HD uses the Mighty Midget Kitchen, which is slightly smaller than my shitter, they only have about 6 things on the menu: falafel, bratwurst, schnitzel, döner, fries, and salad. Right off the bat, there are at least 2 things I’m never buying there – falafel and the salad. I might be a tad bit metro, but I ain’t no foo-foo vegetarian wussy boy.

No, I need my meat. (damnit, this whole post is a bunch of ambiguously gay references, isn’t it?)

I’ve had the bratwurst before, which is great. One quick note – if you order the Bratwurst there, and you are expecting it to be served like a hot dog, then you better order it “with bread.” If not, you’ll get served just a brat on a plate.

This time I ordered the “döner,” some “pommes” (fries), and an Erdinger. Generally speaking, I only really like dark beers, and today they had just wheat beers on tap. While the Erdinger came in the bottle, HD follows European tradition by serving their beers in the associated beer glass.

Slip Me The Sausage

Know what I like about European beer glasses? They are really fucking big. So, when I ordered a beer, I wasn’t ordering no stickin’ 12 oz beer.

I’m guessing you have a question here….. what the hell is a “döner.” Good question, cause I had no fuckin’ idea either. In the menu it was described via a picture as having “hot, lean meat.” And since apparently I’m really “into meat” today, it seemed appropriate.

The best way I can describe it is that it’s a german version of a gyro. It was overflowing with meat and sauce and other “fresh and nutritious” stuff.

Ooh, it has fresh AND nutritious salad

Ooh, it has fresh AND nutritious salad

This can be also described as a potential big-fucking-mess. My buddy described it as “definitely not a sandwich to order on a date.” They even have a special plate that it comes with, which holds the sandwich upright, and provides a huge area to… errrr… well…. make a mess.

The meat was well seasoned and tender. The sauce was… well, saucy. The associated nutritious stuff… was, well, pretty fresh and apparently nutritious. I did not disappoint on the mess factor – as I proceeded to dribble the sauce all over my shirt, pants, table, floor, and another patron.

Aside from the mess, overall it was really quite good, though I would recommend the bratwurst over the döner for a first time patron. The “pommes” were freshly cut and had some sort of spicy stuff on them. (Yes, I said spicy stuff… ok? I’m not a fucking chef. If you want semi-intelligent restaurant reviews, go read Culinary Couture. There you can find well written reviews from someone who knows the difference between hominy and homosexual.) Having everything washed down with a great german beer only improved the entire experience.

I will provide a quick warning. HD only has about 4 seats indoors – most of the seats are outside at benches on the deck. They do a decent job of providing some heaters (and a couple of blankets), but if you get cold easily – definitely come prepared with jackets – especially this time of year.

Besides the beer, the 2nd best part about the whole experience is that HD is located just a short walk to Mom’s Apple Pies. They have really great pies, and something called “Buckeyes” – which are basically homemade Reese’s Peanut Butter Cups – except bigger, rounder, and way fucking better. If you aren’t too stuffed from lunch, I would definitely recommend taking the 3 minute walk over.

I give HD only 1 slight demerit…… mainly for not having hottie german server chicks.

Ooh lah lah!

ToBlogOr's Fantasy Server Chick

Categories: Food · Restaurant Review
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Bring Out the Freak

November 1, 2008 · 3 Comments

Over the last several years, GF and I have gotten together with some friends to celebrate Halloween. What this generally entails is us dressing up and going to a high-class restaurant to flaunt ourselves. Last year we went to Zengo, and even though we had reservations, they made us wait almost 2 hours until they seated us. I’m not sure they appreciated our costumes.

We were pissed, so when they did finally seat us, we made sure we were even more raucous then we might have normally been.

So, Zengo? Fuck you – we ain’t coming back in 2008.

No, this year we decided to go to Mama Ayesha’s. If you haven’t been, it’s a great little middle eastern joint in the Woodley Park area. It’s been one of my favorite restaurants in the area for a while, because of its funky and laid back atmosphere. The food is always excellent and very well priced.

Here’s the rub though – if we had problems last year because of the way we looked…. welllllll our plan was to out do ourselves this year…. and ohhhh did we succeed. I’m not going to post a picture, but lets just say we used this as the basis for our costumes:

Bring Out the Freak

We looked so much scarier though, and in case you were wondering, yes, we even incorporated the dog collar/leash.

So, here we go again… right? We knew we looked like complete freaks. So much so, that as we walked through Adams Morgan on our way to Mama Ayesha’s, people were clearing out of our way (and you know how many freaks hang out there!). We were pretty worried that the people at the restaurant wouldn’t appreciate our costumes, and they wouldn’t serve us – especially considering my buddy was going as Lt Dangle from Reno 911

Bring Out the Freak

Seriously, his shorts were so tight that I my pretty sure the astronauts on the Space Station could see his ball sack without having to look too hard.

But you know what? Mama Ayesha’s is totally awesome. The staff immediately embraced our kookiness and put us at a great table in view of everyone. Our waiters were fantastic, and at the end of the evening, they even bought us a round of drinks on the house! THIS is what great customer service should be like. Yes, we might have looked like freaks, but you know what? By not being like the pretentious pricks at Zengo, they totally won over a whole new group of clients. Even the other customers who were at the restaurant had fun with us.

So Mama Ayesha’s? Thanks for helping a bunch of closet DC freaks have a really fun evening!

Categories: Food · Restaurant Review
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